2. In a previous assignment, you wrote an introduction article in the “F” pattern. Based on what we discussed in class and based on the feedback provided in class, write a new introductory “content” incorporating “plain English writing for the web” in the “F” pattern including visuals. You are to include your “revised version” (if the version you submitted was not in the F-Pattern). Ensure that it addresses the three main objectives of plain English writing. As a reminder, this is an introductory post for your business. Ensure you list it in your hardcopy. (12 Marks)
blog.friendlymuscles.com
(ORIGINAL)
Reasons To Choose Friendly Muscles As Your Personal Trainer
With our certified friendly trainers, portable gym and plans designed for you, we make living a fulfilling life a reality.
Life is full of wonderful moments, and we want to help you live to the fullest. You want to be here for the long run, and we can make that happen. It’s not just about looks or how much you lift, it’s about being your best self, no matter age or health. We got you covered.
It’s time to make a change in your life and really see the results. Give us a call at 226 935-9688 and try training the friendly way.
Why this one didn’t work was because the core message was buried under flowery wording, unnecessary content and doesn’t clearly guide the reader to a desired action. There is no real motivation and if there is it isn’t clear. It wants to sound unique or smart and because of this it says nothing at all. The reader can’t find important information clearly so they are more likely to stop reading. It doesn’t incorporate any of the audience’s motivations to drive them to take action. It tries too hard to appeal to everyone and so it appeals to no one.
(REVISED)
Getting Older? Feel 21 Again When You Train With Us
Friendly Muscles is a well respected Personal Training Service in Windsor, Ontario Canada. Our expert trainers give real results making you feel younger and healthier. Kick aging out the door by eating healthy and living an active life.
Train with us and get
- Stress free training
- The gym comes to you
- A healthy new way of life
- Live longer and feel younger
Starting your training is no sweat with our free sign up. Don’t waste away your best days and visit friendlymuscles.com to train the friendly way.
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