Category: Assignment #3

4) For question #2, what did you do differently from the original post? Please outline, explain and justify what you changed & why. Essentially, what did you learn from this new topic and what did you change and why. (8 Marks) 

I totally changed my approach by refining my core message, keeping the content clear and concise and prioritizing information that my audience is looking for. My original post lacked clarity and used flowery language that bores the reader but it also didn’t clearly state the core message and why they should take action. I addressed the market persona I developed and realized that the best method of approaching my audience is by appealing to fear and gain. I made my core message address  a primary pain point of my audience which is getting older, the I offer the solution and what they should do to attain the solution. 

By having my core message outlined it made it easier for me to narrow my content, remove unnecessary and unclear wording, and develop an overall more concise and to the point piece of copy. With this more concise message I was able to develop a more powerful CTA that uses plain english to tell my audience what they stand to lose if they don’t sign up ‘Don’t let your best days waste away’. This theme was a lot easier to convey in plain english because it wasn’t trying to appeal to multiple problems or something general but it found an exact issue and honed in on it.

I modified the content to prioritize easy readability by keeping important information where the reader is most likely to scan it, this meant important content was placed in the first few words of paragraphs and I incorporated bullet lists that provide breathability and scannability. 

All of these changes were necessary as it makes for a more relevant, concise and clear message that provides the reader what they want to know and why they should act on this knowledge. Compared to the original which used flowery language and buried the message under unnecessary wording and an unclear structure, the revised copy is written to highlight important information, capture and keep the users attention and provide an easy and scannable read.

3. For question #2, explain how your new post successfully addresses the three main objectives of Plain English writing as discussed in class. Provide a detailed breakdown of each objective. (9 Marks)

a. Describe one specific technique you used to improve readability in your revised version and explain why it is effective. (4 Marks) 

One specific technique I used to improve readability was my wording choice. By removing or changing unnecessary words that either tried to make me sound smarter or were generally just fluff. Clear wording allowed me to effectively write so my reader doesn’t feel they are wasting time or not understanding the core message. It respects the reader and gives them the answer they are looking for without doing too much work and by doing this the reader is less likely to stop reading and more likely to fulfill the desired action. It keeps the messaging clear, doesn’t make the reader feel dumb and guides them through the content.

b. What was the most challenging aspect of applying the F-Pattern and Plain English writing principles? How did you overcome it? (5 Marks)

One of the most challenging aspects of applying both the f-pattern and plain english was knowing what to remove and what to keep. This was hard because it required me to think critically about what my audience is looking for in my content and how I can move them to take action without removing any important information. It meant I had to constantly go back, revise what I wrote and determine if what I am saying aligns with my audience and keeps the core message clear and concise. It also meant recognizing where I put important information and how I convey necessary information in a quick and digestible way. To highlight important information I made sure to keep important content closer to the top, easily scannable and avoiding or removing content that buries the important information.

How did I address the three main plain english objectives

I made this piece of content concise by writing only the necessary information and decreased the word count. All important information is easily scannable. The core message (to feel younger you should train with us, sign up here) is clearly outlined and there is no fluff words or unnecessary information that wastes the reader’s time. 

The messaging is clear as I removed or changed fluff words or uncommon vocabulary. It avoids being too smart for the audience which makes it easier to read and requires little thinking. By avoiding complicated reading I allow my reader to digest my content without getting annoyed or feel like they are wasting time. 

The content is designed around the user taking the action of visiting our website to sign up for our services. This is accomplished by clearly showing what they gain from signing up with us in the intro and the bullet points. In the CTA I illustrate what they stand to lose if they don’t sign up ‘Don’t waste away your best days’. The content is wholly written to have the user take action by leveraging their fear of old age.

2. In a previous assignment, you wrote an introduction article in the “F” pattern. Based on what we discussed in class and based on the feedback provided in class, write a new introductory “content” incorporating “plain English writing for the web” in the “F” pattern including visuals. You are to include your “revised version” (if the version you submitted was not in the F-Pattern). Ensure that it addresses the three main objectives of plain English writing. As a reminder, this is an introductory post for your business. Ensure you list it in your hardcopy. (12 Marks)

blog.friendlymuscles.com

(ORIGINAL)

Reasons To Choose Friendly Muscles As Your Personal Trainer

With our certified friendly trainers, portable gym and plans designed for you, we make living a fulfilling life a reality.

Life is full of wonderful moments, and we want to help you live to the fullest. You want to be here for the long run, and we can make that happen. It’s not just about looks or how much you lift, it’s about being your best self, no matter age or health. We got you covered.

It’s time to make a change in your life and really see the results. Give us a call at 226 935-9688 and try training the friendly way.

Why this one didn’t work was because the core message was buried under flowery wording, unnecessary content and doesn’t clearly guide the reader to a desired action. There is no real motivation and if there is it isn’t clear. It wants to sound unique or smart and because of this it says nothing at all. The reader can’t find important information clearly so they are more likely to stop reading. It doesn’t incorporate any of the audience’s motivations to drive them to take action. It tries too hard to appeal to everyone and so it appeals to no one.

(REVISED)

Getting Older? Feel 21 Again When You Train With Us 

Friendly Muscles is a well respected Personal Training Service in Windsor, Ontario Canada. Our expert trainers give real results making you feel younger and healthier. Kick aging out the door by eating healthy and living an active life.

Train with us and get

• Stress free training
• The gym comes to you
• A healthy new way of life
• Live longer and feel younger

Starting your training is no sweat with our free sign up. Don’t waste away your best days and visit friendlymuscles.com to train the friendly way.

1. We spoke about Plain English writing in class. Please answer the following in detail: 

a. How would you explain to someone what “Plain English writing” is? (4 Marks)

Plain English writing is almost exactly as it sounds, plain. When writing for an audience we are vying for their valuable time and the modern reader is incredibly stingy. If they get bored, confused or annoyed by the content they are reading they will certainly read something else.This is why we write in plain and simple wording instead of complex flowery language. The best way to do this is to siphon the most valuable information from a piece of writing and siphon all of the other unnecessary content.

Example:

Non plain language: The fox had to leap over the grand white fence

Plain language: The fox jumped over the big fence

Something to note is that I did not make it dumber or assume the reader is to dumb to understand the first example. In fact by writing in plain language I am telling the reader that I value your time and I know you want the facts without the fluff. Plain writing is simply taking the most necessary information and giving it to the reader. By doing this people find what they need, understand what they’re reading and can use it to fulfill whatever we need them to do.

Imagine if LEGO instead of giving easy to understand and digestible graphics showing you how to complete the build, they gave you only words and had to describe every brick, how to place it, where to place it and why it matters. This would infuriate you and make what was supposed to be a delightful hobby into a drawn out and arduous chore. This is what plain english writing is for.

b. What makes plain English writing different? (4 Marks) 

Plain English is different then simply writing because it is catered to the modern reader. The modern reader has less time they are willing to spend on reading articles and simply want their information quickly. This means that plain english is writing for the users interests first. When we write we normally go on tangents or we might add extra words to sound smarter, a student might use multiple words in his essay to reach a word count. A modern internet reader doesn’t read through content that wastes their time so instead of looking to fill a word count plain english forces you to actually remove unnecessary information or flowery reading to keep it concise and to the point. The difference is that plain english writing is writing for the modern internet reader.

c. What is plain language writing for the web and in detail and in your own words, why is it important?

Plain language writing for the web is geared towards having an online user fulfill a desired action. When writing for the web we need to keep what we say simple and to the point as we want the reader to fulfill a goal that we have for them. Using plain language online we can provide clarity and make our content digestible. It is so important that when writing content online it is written in plain language because we are all fighting for a user’s short attention span and people are absolutely willing to move on to the next thing if they are bored or frustrated. This means using words that resonate and are familiar to our audience and getting straight to the point will keep a reader engaged and more likely to complete the desired action.